Broken people don’t heal relationships, healed people heal relationships. As the saying goes; hurt people hurt people! Two hurting people attempting to reconcile their differences will always bring their own pain and hurt to the table, including all of their triggers and buttons waiting for each other to pull and press. The triggers and buttons need to be dealt with before the reconciliation process begins.
John and Wendy did not come into a healthy and amazing marriage because they had it all together when they got together!
Originally from England, married as teenagers and having three children immediately, moving to another country with the military, periods of absence by John and many many seen and unseen negative contributory factors helped to produce a marriage that looked more like a battlefield than anything remotely healthy.
After a 14 year argument, divorce they decided was probably the best option and after settling this for themselves they then decided that it was not the best option for their children. They then turned their attention to dealing with their own individual issues rather than dealing with how annoying each other was!
The dramas in which they were involved in life were masking the real reasons and the real issues that they did not really want to face for themselves.
Out of the battlefield that was their lives came reconciliation and wisdom. Out of their later Counselling education came the tools that facilitate healing and personal growth. John and Wendy did not primarily learn this from books or University, but from personally having a marriage and lives that were falling apart from the inside out. Their story has been converted into how to stop the rot in your own life and deal with the root causes of the dysfunctions that are destroying you and your family.
One Step Beyond Counselling and Coaching
After more than twenty years of working in the area of ministry, counselling, coaching, leadership and psychology John and Wendy Shippam recognised that standardised approaches to people in distress were not helping them as effectively as they could be. In light of this understanding they have been researching and gleaning the best of the best in terms of what brings the best results to a persons’ life. There are many forms of psychology, counselling and types of caring that produce good results for people, but they did not want to carry on helping people manage to just feel OK or just feel a bit better than they did before, they were searching for complete resolution in the best situation that a person could have in their life. This is the aim of One Step Beyond Counselling and Coaching.
They have been married for 40 years and are enjoying their children and grandchildren. They live in Milton, Ontario enjoying a dream of a marriage a universe away from where they were. Anyone can have an ok marriage, but with a bit of courage and the right tools you can have a great marriage. “We are not in denial, just in case it occurred to you. We still have off days, but now a difference of opinion can be reconciled in seconds and minutes instead of weeks months and years! Looking for the true win win situation is the target.” John and Wendy live it and don’t mask their behaviour for public consumption.